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![]() | Tom Atwood said 1436 days ago |
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Sometimes you just want to stand up and clap. This song is funny, clever, intimate, honest and has some great lines. Wish I could've written it, but instead, I guess I'll just fold up my life and place it to the side. Great chords, great piano. |
| Anonymous said 1436 days ago | |
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abstract & exact Seems a bit confusing lyrically...I think it needs more of why you are giving a waitress all this attention....lonely?...not a real uplifting theme...musically pretty Billy Joel-like....Piano has a great sound, though... Oh!...and that "take my order " line was just plain silly....be silly or pathetic...but not both...just one waitress's opinion.. WM |
![]() | JimmyMac said 1436 days ago |
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You have a great talent... ...to take something as simple as a waitress taking an order and turn it into an epic (a compliment – and, yes, I understand it’s a metaphor). I was searching the net for something a while back, and stumbled unto a blog from a waitress. She captured, quite articulately, the waitresses’ thoughts on many of the clichés I have so often observed in restaurants (“What’s a nice girl like you…”, etc.). It was fascinating reading. I am way out of your league musically, so I don’t have much to offer except that the vocals in the first chorus are buried by the piano. I would bring up the volume and rely on the reverb for the feeling of distance. JG |
![]() | Jim Bouchard said 1436 days ago |
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Very Interesting As always a very good performance, well thought out and presented. A great choice of subject as sometimes waitresses are overlooked. I guess the song's pretty romantic, thematically and musically, and some, like winnie mae, might be looking for something more to do with the gritty reality of waitressing, bringing people their food and drink. This is not meat and potatoes you're serving up here.That would be more like what's in a song like Loudon Wainright's "Tip That Waitress". This sounds wonderful and your singing is very sincere and romantic. |
![]() | Peter Greenstone said 1436 days ago |
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Theatrical It's like a scene from a musical. Great piano work and I like the introduction of environmental sound. While I appreciate the intended meaning of the lyrics, some of them have a very different instinctive meaning to me than their intellectual meaning. For instance, "Take my order" intellectually means "I desire you. Love me." to me, instinctively it sounds like "Give me service". And the line, "Can I order your eyes to go", I assume to mean "I wish you would be mine and come home with me", but my instinctive reaction is "This guy is creepy and she may be in danger". The metaphore naturally leads me to envision a pair of eyeballs in a styrofoam container and I doubt that's what you had in mind. So, the story and the sentiment are great (as well is the music) but some of the choices of words need change. Maybe instead of "Take my order" you could say something like "I know what I want". |
![]() | Tom Atwood said 1436 days ago |
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One Word Next time, Tobin, try my approach. The song I posted today, "One Word," has just a single word in its lyrics. One syllable. No room for metaphor, controversy, or misuderstanding. But..it's not generating a fraction of the interest that "The Waitress" is. At the risk of being misunderstood myself, can you tell me about the woman in the artwork? |
![]() | Z293 said 1436 days ago |
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Nice Story Tobin, I can't elegantly analyze songs as others on this sight can, I'm more of a sit back and listen type of guy. I take it all in rather than pieces and that's what I like about your songs. They are very complete and usually tell a story. As you said all this song really needs are the piano and vocals. But I did like the added touch of the restaurant sound effects. Also thanks for the LAME post and I don't mean this song. |
![]() | _nderscore said 1436 days ago |
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a few captured minutes.. tobin, you have a pretty wonderful way of looking at life & people to come up with a song like this. thoughtful on so many levels. even tho the lyrics are from the perspective of the man, i can't help but wonder what goes thru the mind of the waitress.. she has obviously makes an impact on him, but he is just a moment in the blur of customers that make up her shift. the idea of their 'connection' is so very fragile, maybe it doesn't exist at all |
![]() | jimid said 1436 days ago |
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Where is she? I need her to take my order. Will have to listen to more of your stuff. Ever listen to "Waitress" by "Live" on there "Throwing Copper" CD Here's a link http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playlistId=61056&selectedItemId=61048 "Come on baby leave some change behind, she was a bitch-but i don't care, she brought our food out on time, Wore a funky berret in her hiar . . ." Same subject, different context. |
![]() | SpasmodicMan said 1436 days ago |
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My life is a napkin too My life is a napkin and I'm glad someone had the guts to say it too. If I didn't wipe stuff from my mouth on it once in a while, you'd never know I was there. And the glistening aura, such a sweet way to describe light sweat, yet the invitation to a place where nothing like "normal hunger rules"... so sexy without losing the sense of romantic class. Like love will redeem, even tho even that is a fiction. So you whipser to yourself and abuse your plate until it is empty and you still haven't even looked her in the eye. You're killin' me man... when did you get the key to my private blog? I usually like music that jekrs my earas around, but this one jerked my heart and I just had to say so. |
| susabell said 1435 days ago | |
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Loser? I think you need to tell the listener more about your life away from this waitress....It's just creepy, otherwise. The guy at the table comes off as a loser or worse a stalker.....Making such a big deal over a waitress memorizing your order is just plain weird....I can appreciate your writing this as part of a collection...and knowing that makes it more acceptable...but a song has to stand on it's own to truly be considered "good" or "above average"...don't you agree? I guess I have a thing about people explaining theor songs before they play them... As an abstract song it's good. Susabell |
![]() | mulletsrock said 1435 days ago |
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Evocative, filled with imagination and poetry Someone mentioned a while back in the forums that people who have not submitted songs shouldn't be able to rate songs. I suggest that people without imaginations be barred as well. I cannot do with Tobin does, create such complex and full worlds with music and lyrics. I wish I could. This song has subtle things that cause me to imagine, fill in, startle, prick, and bring to the surface. Evocative and provoking, to which the breadth of comments above me attest. |
![]() | ChrisSly said 1435 days ago |
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I doubt anyone felt this way when I was bringing them a burger! This is a lovely piece. I love the simplicity the piano. I also love that Ivory AU instrument. Sounds so freakin' real. Melodically, it reminds me a little bit of Jason Robert Brown in a positive way. The environmental sounds add to the loneliness of the piece, in a strange way. (takes a deep breath before continuing...) I am less fond of the choice of harmony in the chorus. If he's lonely, a single voice seems more appropriate to me. If harmony is meant to signify something else (maybe the hope he is feeling?) it isn't coming across to me, perhaps because it's your voice multitracked. I took your advice and listened through my 'phones. Nice compression. I have one last thing: the piano is so beautiful, and the AU so realistic sounding, but the abrupt way the piano dampens it's final notes (with no ring or reverberation of the final note in the room) was really jarring - especially in headphones. My $.02. Would you like fries with that? |
![]() | aclarke said 1435 days ago |
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Good song I won't get too deep or verbose (no shortage of that here, though). Excellent subject matter. Very strong lyrical content. Enjoyed. |
![]() | Mystified said 1435 days ago |
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Slice of life... ...is so effective in telling a story. As this song does. The poignant beauty of chiaroscuro...the crowding shadows of loneliness illuminated by faint hope. I see this on stage.... Beautiful playing. Soul-searching singing. Thank you. |
![]() | Wifty said 1433 days ago |
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Wonderful Interesting to read through some of the (many) comments on here after already listening to, and forming my opinion on this song. I thought this was terrific, as always, wonderfully written and with a terrific attention to lyrical content (What can I say, I'm a lyrics man!). Whenever I hear a song like this performed so well as a solo piano piece it makes me wish I could play. I LOVED the separation in the piano it created a fantastic atmosphere that carried with the song so well. I thought the ambient restaurant sounds were a brilliant addition and really came in at just the right time. I'm quite surprised to have read through the comments and seen a lot of disagreements, each to his own I guess. Although show tunes aren't really my cup of tea I do appreciate them for their structure and performance. If I had to be critical I wasn't 100% keen on the harmonies around the chorus. They seemed a touch heavy to me and the slight difference in timing made me a feel a little uneasy (although I suspect this was exactly what you intended). I thought the quiet, resigning ending was terrific. Your vocals sounded a touch bassy to me. For this kind of song I would have loved the vocal to be perfectly clear and crisp to really pull out the emotion. The breaths worked well for this, but there was a slight 'muffle' to the vocal that I wasn't so keen on. As with everything I hear from you, it wouldn't feel at all out of place going straight to the stage. Keep up the good work Tobin. |
![]() | MiMi said 1431 days ago |
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Conjure To conjure images and possibilties from just voice and piano is awesome. You have succeeeded! The story and music lets me wander and wonder into and about a world not my own. Great! |
![]() | packosmokes said 1430 days ago |
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Wonderful Flavor I can completely imagine this track performed on stage. The lights slowly bringing a diner set into view. I'm glad you kept this sparse with only vocals, piano, and sound effects. It achieves a wonderful intimacy that way. It brought a thought into my brain how this song might play out from the perspective of the Waitress as opposed to the customer... doesn't really have anything to do with what you've written, but it popped into my head. :P |
![]() | renecalvo said 1066 days ago |
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Thats my girl My lady is a waitress. I bet she would like to know there are people out there who appreciate what she does. Very sophisticated, soulful lyrics. Reminds me a bit like Sondheim. Where is the show? Can i get a ticket? |

















I absolute love it. Such a perfect piano man performance, only more intimate, more truthful, no staginess or pop posing, only a story song in poetry. I was a waitress for as long as my legs and back could handle it (it is an art) and the description you gave, about waitresses being like a portal to a new dimension, I know what you mean. Thats how I felt, sometimes, and it wasn't about flirting or anything like that, just longing, loneliness, kind of what you mean between your lines. I felt like I gave that little extra to open that door you talk about. It is so cool to hear this song, about that. Your melodies move me in ways I love to feel, and now I am flirting...