MacJams.com - Song: The Only Time by sloparts

The Only Time
by sloparts

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Song comments: 17
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Plays: 66
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Submitted on: Nov 02, 2008 - 10:02:51 PM
Last Updated: Nov 03 2008 - 10:31:55 PM

Description Just a little song I threw together about a man and his dad, and raising a family. It's a first posting for this song, which I just wrote over the weekend, so any helpful thoughts about how to improve it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy, "The Only Time"

Be well and be cool,

Ed

Lyrics The Only Time
By Ed Wemmerus
Copyright 10-31-2008 Edward C. Wemmerus Sr.
All Rights Reserved
Key of A 90 bpm

Verse 1

I been working in this steel mill, nigh on twenty year

Workin' like a hungry dog, spittin' blood and tears

Got my family to keep goin', thru the hard times and the strife

It's an all American story, it's the story of my life.

Verse 2

Well my daddy came before me, working in this mill

He showed me what it took to live, and I remember still

How he taught me how to fish and hunt, he taught me what was right

Said a good man doesn't need to run, or go out an pick a fight

Chorus

Well the only time I saw my daddy cry, was when my mamma said her last goodbye

He took her hand and gave her a smile, said "I'll see you on the other side"

But I could tell it did not ease the strain, watchin' mamma lyin' there in pain

Then he kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye, and was never the same

Instrumental Verse

Verse 3

My daddy's gone and I'm the family's man

It's my turn to teach my son, to help him understand

That the the only thing you really own, is your in teg ri ty (integrity)

And I'm working in this Steel Mill, raisin' up my family

Chorus

Well the only time I saw my daddy cry, was when my mamma said her last goodbye

He took her hand and gave her a smile, said Darlin' I'll see you on the other side

But I could tell it did not ease the strain, of watchin' mamma lyin' there in pain

Then he kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye, and was never the same

Tag lines:

Yeah but I could tell it did not ease the strain, of watchin' mamma lyin' there in pain

Then he kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye, never was the same

***************************************************************************

Hardware Apple iMac 2.0g intel, Tascam FW1804 firewire interface, Peavey Generation EXP Guitar, and lots of loops

Software: Garage Band and Logic Express

Fan List

DWL

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	Feter said 68 days ago
	The Only Time MaN ...what a classic ...your vocal ..the bass .. all the fiddlin ...terrific ...now this is the Ed style I know and I like most ...top noth my friend ..thnx alot for sharin this gem !!!!

	sloparts said 67 days ago
	Thanks Feter I was fiddlin' around with some steel guitar sounds in GB the other day and this is the results. I guess you never know where inspiration is going to come from now do ya ? Glad you liked the song my friend. I appreciate you having a listen and sending along the kind words. It felt really good the more I worked on it. Be well and be cool Feter, Ed

	Relic67 said 68 days ago
	pedal steel I really dig the pedal steel sound. nice song!

	DWL said 68 days ago
	Back to home ground eh? A real country song from you once again. Nice use of the loops. Seamless I reckon. A bit depressing though but then again I guess life's like that sometimes. Cheers Dick

J.A.Stewart said 67 days ago

To Be Honest...
I think the tempo and the arrangement clash with the sober, somber message of the lyrics, Ed.

That can be effective when there's intentional irony involved, but I don't sense that here. The first thing I'd try is to ditch the *happy* fiddle loops, which seem out of place in this context.

I also believe straight 4/4 time makes the tune a bit bouncy. Slowing it down a bit and changing the cadence of your vocal delivery might help. Elements of your song reminded me of "Ode to Billy Joe," by Bobbie Gentry. Perhaps you can draw some *out-of-the-box* inspiration from her somewhat unconventional approach in that song.

The honest, pithy lyrics deserve a more suitable musical bed. I hope, somehow, my observations will suggest something to you that will accomplish that. ;)

--- Joe

sloparts said 67 days ago

Thank you Joe
I'm glad you took time to send along your thoughts on this one my friend. I'm not sure I agree with everything you said, but that doesn't mean you're not right.

I am gonna do as you suggest, and check out Bobby Gentry's "Ode to Billy Joe" to try and hear this song in my mind with a different feel to it.

Of course one other option would be to write a whole new set of lyrics for this tune that fits the music better, and then use these lyrics to do as you suggest and make a more somber feeling song to fit the lyrics. Something to ponder for sure.

Thanks again for listening Joe and for you thoughts on the feel of this one. I really do appreciate you taking the time and making the effort. I owe you one my friend. Thanks also for making me rethink the way I did this song.

Be well and be cool,

Ed

	bronco said 67 days ago
	Honky Tonk! Merle would be proud. Good job! Lyrics for the everyman sitting on the stool in his favorite bar. Don't know how you got loops to fit together so perfectly but great job!

sloparts said 67 days ago

Thanks Tom
Yeah, I hadn't thought of that, but it does kind of have that old Merle Haggard feel to it, doesn't it.

As for getting the loops to fit together, I did a lot of slicing and dicing to make it all work. I started on this one last Friday, and finally had what I thought would pass muster Sunday night. Of that time I spend quite a few hours just trying to hone the mix by fine tuning the loops so they didn't step on me or the other elements in the back tracks.

Thanks again for dropping in and listening my friend, and for the great comments. I really do appreciate you taking the time.

Be well and be cool Tom,

Ed

	TG said 67 days ago
	sweet Fantastic song!

dajama said 67 days ago

Nicely done
A very good song, and a really nice vocal performance - you get real heart and soul into this one. The lyrics are sad, but the truth of so many lives is hard and that's one of the great marvels of country music - expressing that in music. I think the only thing missing from this (and I'm picking nits here...) is backing vocals. I would love to hear some harmonies on the chorus. BUt that's just me! Very cool. This has a polished feel to it that is very impressive. You've done it again! Nicely done, my friend. Kudos. Peace.

	Ibstrat said 67 days ago
	You are just a great country singer.Never get tired of listening to your voice.Great stuff!

guygrooves said 67 days ago

Hey Ed
I really hear the potential in this. I can't help feel some of what Joe was talking about is on the money. The fiddle being the one I agree with most. I can actually hear Merle or Johnny singing this only they would slow it down a tad, and try to evoke the seriousness of the lyric in the vocal. This is a very good country song. Knowing you, I can trust you to take all that has been said away into the studio, and apply the best of it, and come back with a song that we should all be hearing on the local country station. You are the Merle Haggard of MJ. (I have all your albums) lol.
Peace
Guy

sloparts said 67 days ago

Thanks Guy
The Merle Haggard of MacJams. I could do a lot worse than that. Thanks for saying that Guy.

In my response to Joe I thought of maybe writing a whole new set of lyrics for this music, and writing some new music for these lyric. But I have to admit, I love the flow of this like it is. Not necessarily with these lyrics, but the melody line. I guess I'm gonna have to go back into the square corners of my brain and see what I can stir up.

Thanks for taking time to listen Gut. Your reinforcement of Joe's comments give me reason to pause and rethink this whole project. We'll just have to see if I can come up with both new lyrics and a new song.

Take care, be well and be cool my Canadian friend,

Ed

guygrooves said 67 days ago

Ed
I personally don't think you have to re write anything. I think you are on the right path with this. I didn't entirely agree with what Joe said. I thought the fiddle was out of place, and if you slowed it down just a touch keeping the 4/4, I think you might be able to evoke a bit more emotion out of those Lyrics (which I love btw) I really don't think there is anything so wrong with what you have, that you need to go as far as you are thinking you might have to. Maybe try it without the fiddle and another vocal take with some harmonies first. You may be closer to perfection than any of us realize.
Peace
Guy

sloparts said 66 days ago

Thanks again Guy
I think for now I'm gonna just leave it rest a while. I'm to close to it right now to be able to be objective.
I do like your suggestions about fiddles, pace, and harmonies though, so I'm going to mull the whole thing over in my mind for a while, I kind of agree with you and Joe on some things, but I just love the sound I got on the mix and hate to mess with it.

I have and always will respect your opinion on this stuff as well as Joe's , so I sit up and take notice when either of you have suggestions for how to improve one of my songs.

Thanks for revisiting this one Guy, and continuing to offer your feedback, it is really appreciated.

Be well my friend and be cool,

Ed

gail60 said 66 days ago

What in the world??
This is just not what I expected at all. Too fast. Too slow. too much violin, not enough violin. Tears in my beers... Geez! It sounds like a C&W song TOTALLY! What in the world were ya thinkin' Ed??? This is just typical of you Mr! You just whip out those country songs like you know what you're doin'!! :)lol (and you do it very well) In all seriousness....if I can even be serious....This is a good song and I do understand what Joe is talking about here with the upbeat rhythm with such sad lyrics, but honestly, I am still amazed by how easy you make great music and the wonderful talents you have. Whatever you decide to do, change it or leave it, I will remain a huge fan! You tha man!

sloparts said 66 days ago

Thanks Gail
Well it looks like I've taken a step backward, and gone back to the Country side of life again. But it's only a temporary setback I assure you.

Glad you enjoyed the songs my friend, and I do appreciate your comments. I'm mulling over in my mind what to do with it as we speak. For now I'll just leave it alone, because it's too fresh in my mind to really make a lot of changes.

But I do see what Joe and Guy are talking about, so a remake may be in order, or at the very least, a remix with some instrument changes.

The thing is, to me it kind of sounds like something Merle Haggard would have done as it stands now, and I like that feel. That's why I'm gonna wait a bit.

Thanks again for listening Gail and for the kind words, it's great to hear from you. I do appreciate your input and thoughts on this one

Be well and be cool my friend,

Ed

	egobandit said 66 days ago
	You master All this and a great voice too! johnny Cash would be proud!

	Bob Rodgers said 65 days ago
	I love your country songs Ed, such a great clear sound and this is so well produced. I love the pedal steel guitar and your vocals are just superb! Sad lyrics but true to life. This is a great song Ed and I loved it! Bob

	Skean said 64 days ago
	You're the man Im sitting her w a whisky and as always enjoy a good country song... CAN'T be better, WHEN ED is on stage, WHAT can go wrong ... Cheers

	BossHook said 64 days ago
	My favorite country boy has his boots on here. You own this genre here.

Rik_Berryere said 60 days ago

I'm Cryin'
You really DO own this genre, don't you?

I've been thinking about J.A. Stewart's comment.... the cheerful upbeat bounce of the music contrasting with the gritty, sad realization of the lyrics. Does the contrast between the two actually deepen the poignance of the lyrics? One of my favorite country tunes is "Sunday Morning Coming Down" and the melancholy music there perfectly underlines the loneliness and ordinariness of life. But look at Ernest Tubb's "Hey Mr. Bluebird" - the music is finger-poppin' happy but underscored lyrics of bitter heartbreak, and that tension gave the song a wry strength that I've never forgotten.

It feels like there's something of that happening here - between the upbeat music and the weary lyrics, there's just the hint of a story about a strong and decent man worn down by life but still determined to find something of joy in life, even if he has to look back into the past to find it.

Again, sorry I've been so absent..... trying to catch up!

sloparts said 59 days ago

Thanks Rik
I do see Joe's and Guygroove's point to a certain degree, but part of me just loves the way this song came out. Musically it doesn't sound like your typical sad Country song, but lyrically it is. To me the lyrics are talking more about what he learned from his dad about responsibility and love, than about how his daddy reacted to his mom passing away. He learned that sometimes it's okay to cry and grieve, and it will leave it's mark, but even so, you still have to go on and do the things a man has to do to take care of the ones he loves.

So in that way, the music represents going on with the struggle and succeeding despite the troubles and pain that life throws in your path.

I haven't decided to redo this one yet but I may try to make a slightly different version. For right now I've got a few things on my plate so if I do another version, it will be a while before I can get to it.

Thanks again for dropping in and listening Rik. And thanks to for the great comments. I really had to think about the conflict in a new light because of your's, Joe's, and Guyrooves, comments and try to figure out how the two elements of the song affected me. You all made me think, and now my head is hurting from the effort. lol

Be well and be cool my Vermont friend,

Ed

p.s.

Glad to see you back my friend.

Ed

	TEXASFEEL said 59 days ago
	Another Fantastic Country Tune You have a knack to mix up some great country. It sounds so professional as usual. Enjoyed this very much.

	buckhorn said 41 days ago
	Hi Ed, Reminds me a little of Jim Lauderdale...very nice sound to the production....wish I could write a song in a weekend.

sloparts said 40 days ago

Thanks Matt
I just went and listened to some of Jim Lauderdale's work, and I can see a slight connection there with some of his songs. He tended to mix bluegrass instruments into other styles too, like I did here. I'm thinking he had a little better handle on it than I do though so maybe I'll listen to him some more and "Pick" his brains a little.

As to writing a song in a weekend, this one just kind of came to me from outta nowhere. Sometimes you just get lucky and the Muse is anxious to put it down on a track. More often then not she can be a little fickle and make me wait for long stretches before she comes around and decides to grace me with her presence. I know you know what I'm talking about here, don't ya Matt ?

Anyway, thanks for listening, and for the great comments and kind words my friend.

Be well and be cool Matt,

Ed

	sloparts said 67 days ago
	So do I Relic That is how this song came about. I was playing around with the Pedal Steel loops in GB and ended up making this song in the process. Thanks for coming by for a listen, and sending along the kind words. Very glad you enjoyed the song. Be well and be cool, Ed

	sloparts said 67 days ago
	Thanks TG Glad you enjoyed the song my friend. I appreciate you stopping to listen, and the kind words you left me on it. Be well and be cool, Ed

	sloparts said 67 days ago
	Thanks Mark I'm really please that you came by and got to hear this one. It's one of those songs that just came out of nowhere, and even surprised me. Thanks again for the listen and the kind words my friend. And thanks to for the comment on my singing. Be well and be cool Mark, Ed

	sloparts said 64 days ago
	Thanks Kenta Have the barkeep get you one on me my friend. Glad you liked the song my friend and sent along such kind words about it. I appreciate you stopping in to listen. Say hello to your lovely wife and tell her I told you to take her out dancing for an evening. Be well and be cool Kenta, Ed

	sloparts said 59 days ago
	Thanks John You do a pretty fair job on that score yourself my friend especially on "So Long Now" so I consider your comments a gen-u-ine compliment of someone who knows what it takes my friend. Glad you came over for a listen John, and I really do appreciate the kind words. It's nice to know you enjoyed the song. Thanks again for listening. Be well and be cool my friend, Ed

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