Home Music Events Forums Articles Music Blog Resources   Help
About MacJams.com opens a new door of opportunity for musicians around the world, providing a means of connecting, collaborating, and fostering the development of new music in a supportive environment.
  1. Sign Up [free]
  2. Listen
  3. Locate Musicians
  4. Start a Project
  5. Submit a Song
  6. Participate
Login
Username:
Password:
Who's Online Invisible Members: 0
Guests: 17
menopausal health - GOOC
by caroline

Get Flash to see this player.

| Download |
Song Info
Licensing Information:


Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Guest views: 875
Member views: 0
Song comments: 87
Tokens: 0
Plays: 131
Last Played:
Downloads: 29
Fans of this song:
Submitted on: Jul 08, 2008 - 09:08:28 AM
Last Updated: Jul 09 2008 - 03:50:53 AM
Keywords country & western (2)caroline (57)ziti (30)
Description i won't bore you with the long story but .. the short story is ... thank you eddie - if only it hadn't been so long ;) - thank you alan - as always, thank you lee for those first chords - mwah and ... blimey fran ... you are star and a half - bless your magic fingers and.. thank you peter - nobody could be less of a louse - i love you xoxoxox
Lyrics In Nashville, Tennesse I had my hysterectomy
But they went and left me with my ovaries.
I take all kinds of herbs coz the heat and sweat disturbs
Won't someone, somewhere take pity on me

Chorus..
I'm just a menopausal girl and my head is in a whirl
Every day is just another sweat
Menopause and mentalhealth have depleted my estrogen wealth
So now i can't remember what i'm trying to forget!

M-E-N-O-P, A-U-S and E is just drivin' me insane
I don't want to seem rude but i'm in an awful mood
I never want to see your face again!
Chorus

There's a blanket on the ground - i don't want that thing around -
A blanket is the last thing that i need!
One moment its a fan - the next a cardigan -
Won't someone show me how i should proceed
Chorus

I travel this life of toil almost always on the boil
Thinking of things i could do with an axe.
Hubbie is a louse so PMS means "Punish My Spouse"
And not for one moment is it safe to relax.
Chorus

... a few words recorded in the kitchen ;)
Hardware mine, fran's, whatever:)
Software: mine, fran's, whatever:)
Fan List

Roxylee

magnatone

Skean

bug67

MarkHolbrook

Cameron

apb

Peter Bauckham

helenmorris

riverwildcat

saymme

Feter

Doadars Uncle

DWL

guygrooves

TEXASFEEL

comdotdom

Einarus

MJ_Grand_Ole_Opry_Challenge

jiguma

ziti

alfalpha

bud

J.A.Stewart

JOAN

rabittwhole

estellie

guitapick

damiengh

Ibstrat

Foinix

romanoff

EEFliess

MIRx

thetiler

buckhorn

ledebutant

Lightman-

Robert Rayner

snowdragon

blaky smith

Rocha Malhada
You must be registered and logged-in to comment.

magnatone said 184 days ago
Menopausal Health
LOL LOL LOL - this is FABULOUS!! How did you know??

caroline said 183 days ago
how did i know??? LMAO
here's to the royal flush karen - hot, hot, hot!!! xoxox

bug67 said 184 days ago
Love it!
Thank you for the sneak preview this morning. This may well be my favorite song of the year!

caroline said 183 days ago
favourite song??? wow!!!
bless you buggy xoxoxo

Roxylee said 184 days ago
What a hoot!
Caro, this is great. Every man who lives with a menopausal woman should hear this, before it's too late. And Fran's guitar is superb, as always. Thank you for the yeeehaaah laughs. I love the lyrics, and your delivery of them is priceless!

caroline said 183 days ago
you think we should warn them?? ;)
thank you for your appreciation roxylee - and you are right - fran is faabulous - big loves xoxox

said 184 days ago
Menopausal Health
Your a nutter LOL
Its fantastic thank you Caz this is amazing.
You sang it spot on. :)



said 184 days ago
And I forgot again!
everyone that collaberated well done
Its just that all I hear when Caz sings or whatever is her alone.
she mesmerises me.:) it was all brilliant.

caroline said 183 days ago
i am assuming that....
nutter is a good thing!! :) - thank you for your constant support and enthusiasm dee - mwah mwah xoxox

MarkHolbrook said 184 days ago
LOVE IT!
Very very cool!

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you mark....
actually .... it's very, very hot but what the hey!!!! xoxoxox

ziti said 184 days ago
well then
having lived with 2 menopausal women in my life...my mom and now my lovely bride....i sit and watch the beads of sweat suddenly appear from nowhere...and of course the flying dishes...i am told my sweet little grannie beaned my grampie with a hot baked potato during her time...and grannie was nominated for sainthood!

not for one moment is it safe to relax!!! so true.


I am trying to find a country band to play in now, this was such fun.

bless caroline for the joy and light she brings to my life!!

all my love my little scone.

z

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you, thank you, thank you fran....
you gladden my sweaty little heart!! i couldn't believe my luck when you offered me your bed (as the actress said to the bishop ;)) who'dda thought our first collab would've been country and western??!! love you lots fran - mwah mwah xoxoxo

drakonis said 184 days ago
Rowr!
Gives a whole new raw meaning to pink and fluffy (with a rusty can-opener!) Wow, great Country backing... not something I would have expected from Fran's fingers... (no wonder he had to wash them)... and Caroline, you're in fine form, as always. I shall have to play this one for my spouse, she will get a sympathetic kick out of it! :-) Say hi to Peter for me... no no no... put down the frying pan first... there ya go...
ttfn,
Drakonis

caroline said 183 days ago
kitchen impliments are us!!!
thank you drak - as always - for your appreciation and support - it's wonderful ppl like you that make it wonderful for ppl like us! i hope 'er indoors liked it too - big loves bluedragon xoxox

Cameron said 183 days ago
thank you for sharing! ;-)
BRILLIANT: (even first thing in the morning!):

1) Words!

2) Singing!

3) Guitar madness by Fran!

4) The last manic bit was the BEST!

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you for liking it cam...
it's a good thing you know what a pussycat i really am or you might be worried ;) it took simply ages to perfect the manic bit coz .. of course... i have noooo experience of that kind of thing at all :) - big loves my dear xoxox

said 183 days ago
Awesome caroline!
I don't know how you come up with this stuff, but I'm glad you do! Great fun this!

Good call employing Fran on the git-fiddle!

Be well friend!

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you wark the tark...
i just love spreading the sunshine!! and yes ... fran was the icing AND the cherry as far as i am concerned - mwah mwah xoxo

urbnite said 183 days ago
haha
not that i can relate, but that's hilarious!

with no a/c i guess i can kind of relate to the fan and the blanket. and i'm sure not putting dinner on the table for anyone...

caroline said 183 days ago
wot?? not even a pizza box??!!!
thank you for your support darren - sheesh - we've all come a long way since that first bible reading!!! lol xoxoxox

cjhoose said 183 days ago
"I've got a gun!"
Hehehe. Oh Caroline. You rule! :D

For so many of us this is exactly what happens.

*peers over at mom and crosses fingers*

caroline said 183 days ago
cj!!! how wonderful to see you my dear...
ha! there are some things that not even a meditation programme can cure but .. can you imagine what i would be like without it!!! grrrrrrrr... big loves to you and your lovely family xoxoxo

Peter Bauckham said 183 days ago
Caroline
you're such a whiz with words! Great fun as always!

Peter

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you peter....
... all praise goes to the muse - i am blessed indeed xoxo

HenriROGERsoloandbands said 183 days ago
Mood

Why does she do this to me ?...:-)

Great idea , and very well done by all of you .

caroline said 183 days ago
why??? WHY!!!! why indeed!!!
if only we knew!! thank you for dropping by - bisous xox

riverwildcat said 183 days ago
You are too...
too funny! Always good for a laugh or a cry, Caroline! Great backup...pure Nashville.

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you riv...
eek ... laughter AND tears - that really is a heady combination - glad you liked what fran did as much as i did!! big loves from blighty xoxoxo

Feter said 183 days ago
menopausal health
WOW ...Incredible ...now this is just amazing ..
whata band set Caro ..what a great singing ...
this song brought me a smile :-) thank you so much
for sharin such gem !!!!!!!! what a colab !!!

caroline said 183 days ago
lol - thank you feter...
i am delighted to have such a supportive community where i can share the fun xox

Doadars Uncle said 183 days ago
Dare I laugh?!?!
I can't imagine... but I do have friends with this issue...

Well done! I'll pass this along.

Doug

caroline said 183 days ago
sheesh doug .. of course you can laugh!!
the day we stop doing that we are really buggered!!! yeah - share it with the hot and sweaty xoxo

Doadars Uncle said 182 days ago
Whew....
Thanks, I'm laughing. I may sound wimpy, but there are places in my life where I would have been better off testing the waters!!!

guygrooves said 183 days ago
This is the funniest
song I have heard in a very very long time. I'm laughin so damn hard I can barely type. You would do well to post this all over the web it will certainly go viral. I can see it getting millions of hits on you tube with the right video behind it. I have tears in my eyes from laughing. Great song Caroline.

caroline said 183 days ago
it's reactions like yours that make...
this all worthwhile!! bless you and thank you x

DWL said 183 days ago
Great fun!
Splendid lyrics! (I wonder how 'cardigan' translates?)

Careful with that axe!

Cheers

Dick



caroline said 183 days ago
erm.... i dunno about the cardigan question...
i'll have to ask some yankee doodles!! thank you for dropping by dick - big loves xox

jiguma said 183 days ago
:)
.. but you told me you were only 25 Caro!

Top post - "punish my spouse" - love that line!

H.M. Caro rules!

Lovely playing Fran - if you get a country band together, I'd like to volunteer for the bass position please. Rehearsals could be difficult .... but I'll get there somehow ;)

Neil

caroline said 183 days ago
you're quite right jiggy!!
i did tell you that i was only 25 but... i told you twice!!! :) let me know when you and fran get it together and i will dig out some gingham and my pink, fringed boots!! btw - i stole the pms line from fran!! big loves and thank you xoxo

TEXASFEEL said 183 days ago
Sweet Caroline
Such fine piece of kick 'n Kountry. Thanks for the 'n lite mint... Nice Chops 'n ther as well.

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you john...
mint and chops?? it sounds like dinner ;) xox

alfalpha said 183 days ago
LOL!
What would we do without Caroline?
:)

xxx

BP

caroline said 183 days ago
:) ....
maybe we'd have more time to make ice-cream!!! big loves bp xoxoxo

bud said 183 days ago
Fantastic Caroline
and the gang you've gathered round you - what a fine tune. Love the lyrics - especially the last verse - had me cracking up.

caroline said 183 days ago
thank you bud -
how blessed can one girl be?? i love my gang - hugs xoxo

said 183 days ago
mah fav'rt line
"...but the wedding left me with my ovaries ... "

Precious :) OK, so I've earwax to clean out. LOL

. - H

caroline said 183 days ago
so... if i've been married 3 times...
is that six ovaries??? :D watch out for those eardrums!! apricots, bananas and plums!! xoxox

J.A.Stewart said 183 days ago
Hahahahahahahaha
(spit up)... Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Caroline, I'll tell you why I immediately recognize this as a Country tune... The moment I hear there's a menopausal woman nearby, I know that it's time to... HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!

Especially when they are pondering the usefulness of axes AND "have a gun and know how to use it." LOL

You are WAY too much fun, my dear. ;)


--- Joe

caroline said 183 days ago
we'll find you in the hills joe!!!
nowhere to run to!!! nowhere to hide!!! *leaves to sharpen the axe and buy more bullets!!! lol - mwah xoxoxo

E-Frame Wrecker said 183 days ago
Post-Punk Nashville girl
Interesting Country/Americana sound with the screechy guitar riffs. You know this has a real cutting-edge aura about it. And your words are absolutely brilliant! Reminds me of what some of my Punk Rocker friends are doing now. You'd be a total hit with them.

caroline said 183 days ago
it's hard to believe that this dippy hippy ended up...
being post-punk!!! your punk rocker friends are menopausal too??? sheesh - poor things!!! `;) - thank you for dropping by and for your delicious comments xox

rabittwhole said 183 days ago
well ...
if i can stop giggling .... well i can't ... very cool caroline! :-] jack

caroline said 181 days ago
thank you jack
and may your rabbits always find a whole ;) i looove to make you giggle xoxo

screamalexz said 183 days ago
:)
your songs are always fun and the lyrics always seem a little silly it's nice and fun :) i love how you sing as always :)hehe things you could do with an ax.. i was thinking such at work tonight as i stocked them..

caroline said 181 days ago
silly lyrics??
baby boy!!! what are you saying??!! LOL - remember ... send me a dozen of those axes!!! big loves little one xoxox

guitapick said 182 days ago
Thoughtful...
...sensitive...somewhat Elizabethan in style and intent, I believe...

Great, great tune...so funny..."Punish My Spouse", indeed...

Fran: you're a natural with this style...

caroline said 181 days ago
thoughtful?? sensitive?? LMAO
and we're gonna let hubbie out of the cellar at the end of the week but .. only if he promises to be good ;) - thank you for your appreciation xoxo

damiengh said 182 days ago
refreshing
Menopause.....hmmmmmmmmm

A pause from men. That's it.

The Pause that refreshes??

Loved the words of warning to us men.

It takes a country girl to deal with them symptoms, and your song definitely, makes you a country gal. Yee Haw!

Great one.




caroline said 181 days ago
a pause for men?? NEVER!!!
thank you for your appreciation - and let's hope that lots of you heed the warning .. now i'm off back to the hills xox

Ibstrat said 182 days ago
Very
funny stuff.Very creative- great song!

caroline said 181 days ago
thank you
may the muse keep us all creative and may i always see the funny side - much love xoxo

apb said 182 days ago
Eek!
.. a song about woman's things .. and .. eek .. bits ..*puts head in sand* at mention of ostrichin'. ;o)

Loved it! Fabulous wit and charm in the lyrics (what else would one expect?) .. and Fran is countrying like he's been in that field for some time .. a fun song you too: a fine diversion for Fran meethinks and .. well .. more of what we all love from my dear bud Brunch xoxox.

Deservedly popular- explains all that panning in SL! ;o)

caroline said 181 days ago
alan ... you keep me sane when i am mad and..
cool when i am hot ... nobody could wish for a better friend.. that said... wtf did i put that pan??!!!! big loves to my special friend ... brunch xoxoxo

Foinix said 182 days ago
menopause
Very fun, very cool, very creative and very caro! Great job on this one - almost sounds like you lost that british accent for awhile!

caroline said 181 days ago
thank you for bringing your gorgeous
bum over here - well spotted ... i did try to sound yankee doodle for a while but gave up - i thought someone might spot how very unauthentic it would sound!! big loves - mwah mwah xoxox

EEFliess said 182 days ago
oh my gawd
Caroline, I laughed so hard I....well, perhaps that would be too much information

caroline said 181 days ago
oi vey!!!
i hope you won't have to change the cover on that chair now!! thank you for your support habibi - much much love xoxo

MIRx said 181 days ago
This is no less than LETHAL!
Now, if I wasn't dead by laughing, right now, I would say this made me think of a scene from the Blues Brothers movie, where they go playing in this place and the stage is behind some kind of protection net, and you get to know what that's meant for when the band starts playing and people throw everything they have at reach to them!
I think you also should put such a net when posting tunes like this!
All the band really did a killer work, here, and judging from the result, much much fun has been had by everybody (listeners included)!

caroline said 181 days ago
phew .... i am so happy that
you are still out there in the big, wide world - thank you so much for finding your way back to comment and enjoy - mwaaah xoxox

thetiler said 180 days ago
Ha
Hubbie is a louse so PMS means "Punish My Spouse",
You have some pretty funny lines Caroline.

It's gets tough as we get older and this song just proved it, even though I am from the opposite sex and can sympathize for sure.

This is a tune that need to be written. lIke the ending to, kind of reminds me of Jerry Reed and how some of his story songs would end in him talking with somebody. LIke that.
Way to Go!

caroline said 157 days ago
i stole that funny line from...
fran!! well... actually... he gave it to me!! glad you liked it bill - thank you for stopping by and saying so xox

buckhorn said 179 days ago
Great Writing
Sounds like and instant classic to me. I would play this for "she who must be obeyed"but I don't know if she would laugh or hit me. Very entertaining.

caroline said 157 days ago
i hope she will laugh ....
let me know!! thank you for your appreciation x

kristyjo said 178 days ago
Hot! Hot! Hot!
This could be the theme song for the staff at one of the schools I teach at! Very clever lyrics, and fun country style music.

caroline said 157 days ago
very!! very!! very!!!
i know plenty of schools were it would be appropriate too - glad you enjoyed - thank you xox

Lightman- said 173 days ago
Happy
What a happy tune/song.... I like this style of music... It's really happy... Can say the word "Happy" again and again, about this song... Thanks for sharing...

caroline said 157 days ago
happy you say???
sure?? LOL - glad you liked it mr lightman - thank you for saying so xoxox

VicDiesel said 173 days ago
Love those old Tammy Wynette songs!
I didn't know that after D-I-V-O-R-C-E she wrote M-E-N-O-P-A-U-S-E, but it's a worthy followup.

Ah, don't you live that wholesome country living....

caroline said 157 days ago
i'm chewing on a straw as i type...
thank you for your comment and you appreciation xox

HipHopMoses said 170 days ago
LOL I think ... He he he
Though I feel I've ventured into a room full of estrogen or lack their of (female convo), so I'll just say well done and keep my mouth shut :D lol
Moses

P.s Great job not many can pull off being funny and good.

caroline said 157 days ago
wise choice mr hiphop!!!
i am so happy that you liked this song - thank you for saying so xoxoxo

said 160 days ago
LMAO!!
That was priceless!!

Well done Carolie! That is just some fantastic writing.
Hats off the the geetar picker. Sounded great Ziti.

I'm surprised its not all over the internet.

Superb song and production. Bravo!


Chris

caroline said 157 days ago
awww - welcome to this page brs..
i am so happy that you stopped by .. maybe - one day - i will make a video and post it to youtube - maybe!! big loves xoxoxo

Robert Rayner said 155 days ago
Great Song!
I agree with all the comments here, especially the ladieees!

I'm old enough, (with experiences and bruises) to know what to say and when. And also when to say nothing at all.

Fantastic lyrics, vocals and guitars.

Loved it x

snowdragon said 144 days ago
I would laugh
but ... well, you know.


Nice job Kaz

caroline said 143 days ago
thank you snow....
what? not even a snigger - shesh maybe you better borrow my ax :) big loves xoxo

jie said 124 days ago
yee hah
been away for a while. knew i could rely on lady caroline to cheer me up. love it take care

Artist Profile
caroline photo
caroline

Artist Bio A retired primary school teacher, I now teach drama, voice and self-esteem skills in the beautiful English Cotswolds. My longtime friend - 14 years - Rebsie, introduced me to this site. I originally recorded two numbers coz it seemed mean to c...[more]
Artist Music
menopausal health - GOOC
Bring Back Fluff w/MIRx
punk junk by cinderella snot ....
Old Bones by apb
Motherless Child
Free To Be My Self w/apb/slimgirlfat/lee
Donald Where's Yer Troosers
Kazoo In Eden
CoriAnder and Kazoo!!!!
a-rovin'
rightabout now
We'll Meet Again On Drugs!!!
matilda by hilaire belloc
Get Off My Land Peasant by The Bawdies
joanna!! s'for you!!!
The Marrow Song
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavour
Obscene Call
Royal Institute
Caroline's Bear Rag by Drakonis and Lee!!!
Foggy, Foggy Dew w/wittybrit
I've Got A Loverly Bunch Of Coconuts!
Smuggler's Song by Rudyard Kipling
The Banks of the Ohio
Brother Can You Spare a Dime?
funky kazoo w/the bawdies
15 Days In Scunthorpe(w/the bawdies)
Caroline's House of Shiny Lights (w/The Bawdies)
pack up your piccadilly with margie x
t'every
hardware despair
What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor? collab. JOAN
Dogger Bank
Blues for the Greens