You must be registered and logged-in to comment.
 | Elevator_Funk said 150 days ago |
|
Missing a Lyric after... the sea rises we race to do . As usual it has unique chord progressions and keeps it interesting. Good Lyrics. I can listen all the way thru without getting bored. If you wand to be on the radio, I think it would be cool if you overproduced your songs just to see what it sounds like. Lots of reverb, echo, doubled/tripled vocals, guitar harmonics.Maybe some record scratches, Jay-Z uh-huhs, Guest appearances by Timbaland...., ok nevermind, it sounds good the way it is. |
 | lavalamp said 150 days ago |
|
Nice besides the very good lyrics, I really dig this musically. Great job. Great vocal delivery, too. Dave |
 | Skean said 150 days ago |
|
Nice I like this song very much... Nice played as sung too. Take care & thanks for sharing --- Kenta |
 | egobandit1 said 150 days ago |
|
SIng it Im tellin ya Ive been singing it for a long time.. This is great.Love the low end sound to this. I hear what your saying about the mix being radio ready I feel it screams fuck the radio sorry just my opinion I hope you dont take offense. This song is plain out right great thanks for sharing! |
 | Lennon714 said 150 days ago |
|
radio From what I can tell, it's ready for acoustic radio. Though it is an acoustic song, I would like to hear another guitar in the background to kind of fill in some of the spaces. Nothing ridiculous or overdone, but something subtle. However, that's my opinion and I could be very wrong. Grain of salt and all that. Anyway, the song is really well done and very well sung. The subject matter is fresh and interesting. |
 | asconejar said 147 days ago |
|
:) it takes a lot of effort to write this kind of music, socially conscious type, though acoustically done, making the lead guitar in electric, I believe will add more bright sound. |
 | jiguma said 146 days ago |
|
A little Kurt in there Lovely mix Adam - sorry I'm late. This sounds great - all the parts work together really well, and it's all well played - but the mix is outstanding. I really like your drumming - in the run of things here at MJ, a live drummer stands out from the crowd. The fact that you do everything else so well too is an added bonus. If I had to nominate a nit, it would be the little lead break at the end, which just misses the mark. Maybe a few more passes on this would nail it. Really good post Adam, you must be pretty pleased with this one. Neil |
 | michael2 said 146 days ago |
|
nice one cool tune, and you are absolutely right: we have screwed this whole place up. great lyrics, and I don't think the vox are too quiet. if anything i would say lower the drums a hair. great job. |
 | Micheal_Wark said 145 days ago |
|
Although I do not... ...subscribe to the belief in a humanly generated apocalypse, this song certainly captures the current feeling shared by the masses on the matter. Musically, lyrically...this piece is superb. I really dig the mix. Big, raw feel throughout. Great percussion track too. Be well! |
 | TheWhizzies said 138 days ago |
|
Reminds me of a current movie... I couldn't stop thinking about Wall-E as I listened to your song! The subject matter of the lyrics really parallels the themes presented in the movie. The way you sing this piece is a little awkward in places, but like Michael Wark suggested it does have a raw, emotional quality that can't be denied... and since I think that polished tunes are (usually) overrated, I will fave this because even after one (and a half) listens, it has stuck with me. |
 | dajama said 134 days ago |
|
Great sound and really good song. I love the acoustic guitar sound. How did you record it? Really up there and clear. Great drums, too. This is a terrific song, with a great vocal performance on top of everything else. Interesting lyrics - thought-provoking and well-crafted. Very cool track. Nicely done. Peace. |
 | Dee1962z said 134 days ago |
|
The End. Love this, very enjoyable listen. Well done. Peace Dee |
 | psexnyc said 130 days ago |
|
Trying To Critique This Song.... My desire is to totally complement you on some well done work with this song....but Criticism done Constructively is what we should be doing in this space, so I'm trying....As I listen for a 3rd time, I find myself wanting the guitar to sound "brighter" with more 'color' in it.....if that makes any sense. But other than that, I love the vocal delivery of this song. And I really like the Intro too. Nice stuff! I'm going to listen again. |
 | Pete_NB said 129 days ago |
|
Tone Just reading the post regarding the guitar tone needing to be a little brighter. I agree, I was thinking that the acoustic sounded like it had old strings on it. May not be the case and could be a simple matter of EQ. Either way, a great tune, with good playing. I really dig the electric behind "build machines". Tastefully done! |
| Lennon714 said 129 days ago |
|
great song The music is strong and interesting, while the lyrics tell a good story. The lyrics are interesting in that they give the listener enough to fill in the blanks, but you know what's going on. If that makes sense. In other words, it's not just narration. |
 | chikoppi said 117 days ago |
|
Critical Nitpicks and Second Guesses Great tune! Put in in mind of Radiohead. Really nice mix as well. The only comments I can offer are nitpicks! Very clean vocal track. The sense of space and distance is just right. I'd like to hear a version with the vocal track inched louder by a decibel or so. Sometimes the guitar seems well in front of it, though the mix remains tight and clear throughout. I like the tones of the guitar and bass and how closely together they are mixed. The guitar is very meaty for an acoustic (heavy in the mid-range) and I think it contributes to the character of the song by suggesting weight. I kind of noticed the absence of brighter frequencies, but I won't suggest lifting them because that absence adds color. The natural, understated kit is another nice instrument choice. I'm a bit torn on the EQ. The thickness seems right, but I think a bit more skin might better plant them in the mix. This is especially true where the dense fills appear, as I think the kit gets a little too blurry there. In general, the mix is great. To me it sounds heavy in the 100-500hZ range, but that focus creates a terrific warmth. There isn't a lot of stereo width, but I think any more than what you have would make this sound overtly "produced," which would ruin the character. Kudos on some great work! |
 | TobinMueller said 117 days ago |
|
Nice demo Thanks for asking for a review of the songwriting and production aspects of your latest song via the Critics Circle. I will avoid comments about vocal performance, etc., and just discuss the issues you are concerned with. The track, on first hearing, has a demo feel, not a polished finished-product feel. The mic'ing of the guitar at the outset is nice, and the trap driven drumset line works well. Vocals are set back in the field due to your reverb, which is reverse from normal pop rock mixing, that places vocals in front of drums, etc. Panning has everything in the middle, with subtle left-right positioning, which is good for a demo, but a polished track would come up with ways to separate the instruments so that the listener could visualize each player in his own setting. The arrangement builds slightly, mainly due to the nice build by the drummer. But starting with the second verse ("We sowed"), my ear wanted another line of countermelody, perhaps something like a Moog that accentuated the sense of science fiction, kind of a concept voice. The distorted guitar that comes and goes in the second chorus seems random, then abandoned, and doesn't add anything for me. And the build during your repeated coda lacks the precision my ears wanted, sounding slightly out of sync (as opposed to psychedelic, as you might have been shooting for) and messy. Part of that is the choice of sounds, which blend in too much, and the choice of octave, which muddled together other instruments. The song is kind of apocalyptic, yet the song didn't approach epic feel, even tho I got the sense you wanted it to, which is one of the reasons I felt like it was merely a rough demo track. The song's structure is balanced and well constructed. The content, which is depressing and fairly stock, uses a generalized narrative style, as opposed to an intimate personal first person, which is hard to pull off without sounding removed, dogmatic and presumptive. I would have preferred a story song about a guy caught in this change, this regret, this hope, as opposed to an impersonal anthem. I like the "gone/science fiction" rhyme. If the song could be arranged to instill a sense of machine, a sense of Luddite fear, and, ultimately, a determination to make it right (or a hopelessness that its too late), then I would have embraced the song as a cool concept piece. Without it, the song is well done but doesn't move me, pull me in, or bring anything compelling or new, and falls flat. |
 | Vic Holman said 116 days ago |
|
Hi Adam thanks for asking me to offer some ideas. Outside of the other critiques. I thought I would give some thoughts on expanding this. I like how the single acoustic starts it off. Possibly after the first verse bring in a second and pan them seperately, maybe 45 degrees left and right. It would give some greater sense of space in the stereo field. Also adding backing vocals to what would be the chorus. Choruses tend to be what sticks in the mind of most listeners. I wouldn't even minded some distorted guitars low in the mix during the chorus just to toughen it up some. The brief electric lead sounds interesting but I think something more direct without heavy effect would fit the overall sound better. I also seem to miss any bass whether electric or even synth to add to the bottom end. I don't know if you have either the bass guitar or keyboard. So, I can't really get on about that. If not I would ask some one to add some. All in all a pretty nice tune. Hopefully some of these ideas can help if you decide to develop it further... and knock it out of the ball park. |
 | 8piscean8 said 107 days ago |
|
Thanks Just wanted to say thanks to Tobin, Vic, and Brian from the Critics Circles for taking a listen and giving me some great constructive feedback. It is all very much appreciated. Thank you gentlemen! -Adam |
Love the song. Not sure if I qualify for radio quality reviewing, but I think I hear the instruments closer than the vocal, its subtle and maybe its my funny setup here, see if anyone else hears it before remixing. Back to the song: the vocal is excellently sung, that is ready for air play.
Thanks
Bill